Feral Felines v3: New Skies
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Nov 24, 2009, 9:28pm






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Your cat's history should have something about the old AutumnClan. If your cat is young and wasn't around when AC was then or you're making a tribe cat, you're in the clear. It doesn't have to be much but is needed so your cat can fit the plot. Read other bios, ask members, or read old RP threads or the plot thread to understand. It's not that hard.


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Feral Felines v3: New Skies :: Paw Prints :: Biographies :: Swanpaw's Song: All About Swanpaw
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 AuthorTopic: Swanpaw's Song: All About Swanpaw (Read 21 times)
Swanpaw
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 Swanpaw's Song: All About Swanpaw
« Thread Started on Jul 30, 2009, 12:05pm »
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Name: Swanpaw
Age: seven moons
Gender: She-cat
Desired Position: Medicine Cat Apprentice
Clan: ThunderClan
History:
Swanpaw was born to a loving mother. She was always curious about her wherabouts.As a result, she frequently wandered off from camp to dillydally in the forest. There, she often smelled the plants around her and wondered what their names and uses were. Consequently, her dream of becoming the ThunderClan medicine cat apprentice formed. However, Swanpaw was always quickly searched out and found during her enterprises outside camp.Then, she was scolded and punished, restricted to staying within the nursery. Though she learned her lesson, Swanpaw usually watched the medicine cat work with herbs and dreamt of working with such diligence and wisdom. Swanpaw’s kithood was filled with wonder, excitement, herbs, and medicine cat dreams.
Short Description: Swanpaw's eyes are the color of a leaf during leafgreen. Pure white, soft-furred cat with mahogany brown paws and ears. Her long tail is tipped with brown.
Description:
Swanpaw is a lily-white, beautiful, strong, and lithe cat. Her head starts out with a slender muzzle bearing short whiskers. From there, a soft-furred, white face features brilliant eyes that sparkle like a dewdrop on a leaf during the height of leafgreen. Swanpaw’s ears, dabbed acorn-beige, sit atop her head, and a short neck stretches down to supple shoulders and lissome legs. All four paws, which are creamy nut brown, sport sharp claws that are similar to hawk talons. A long tail like a vine hangs down from her haunches, and powerful hind legs support them. Swanpaw is the standard size for a cat, but is definitely NOT just a regular cat.
Personality:
Swanpaw has many famous sayings. They are all actually one big phrase though. “There’s thunder crashing in our pulses; lightning pounding in our hearts; rain cascading through our veins; sparks crackling in our eyes. We are truly ThunderClan cats! It’s in our blood.” She loves to go to elders for advice and wisdom but hates to do this with snappy and mean ones. Any cat who bullies or taunts another is her enemy, while she adores sleeping in pools of warm sunlight and healing and caring for other cats.
Extras:
RP Example:
Swankiit poked her small white head out of the nursery. No cat here! She’d risen early to sneak out of camp and explore the forest. This way, she’d have prior experience to becoming a warrior apprentice! She set a paw hesitantly onto the cool rocks and grass and lifted another off the mossy, warm floor inside the nursery. A feeling of freedom surged through her. Finally, a chance to be independent!
Looking around the clearing to ensure no one saw her, Swankit slunk towards Highledge, keeping close to the red floor. From the Highledge, she scurried towards the bracken. Squeezing through, she tumbled out of the tunnel. Thunder crashes with my pulse. Lightning pounds with my heart. Rain cascades through my veins. Sparks crackle in my eyes. I am truly a ThunderClan cat! Thought Swankit excitedly. Pulse booming like thunder, she trotted into green. Trees soared up about her and plants rustled around her as her heart drummed. Eyes flitting, she took in the scenery.
What was that spiky plant sitting over there with jagged green leaves and red berries? She padded up to it and sniffed it. A sharp, bitter scent filled her mouth, and she pulled off a berry and chewed on it. It tasted faintly sweet. “Swankit!” Suddenly, her mother’s voice filled her ears. A whtie blur filled her vision as her mother flew into her. “Swankit! You should be very ashamed. What were you thinking, coming out here alone? What if you ran into a trap, or ate poisonous berries, or a ShadowClan warrior attacked you? And did you just eat a holly berry? Never eat a berry if you don’t know what it is!” she panted angrily as more warriors rushed up. Fear welled in Swankit’s heart as she recognized the truth in her mother’s words. And what would her leader say? Only one thing she knew was this: she wanted to be a medicine cat. The holly scent had filled her nostrils and excited her to no end. Perhaps becoming a medicine cat would be guaranteed for her. She could show her enthusiasm and willingness to learn to Silentstar, and she’d take note. Maybe, just maybe…


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SiLENT//CHiNA
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 Re: Swanpaw's Song: All About Swanpaw
« Reply #1 on Aug 4, 2009, 8:37am »
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All right, wonderful! A new member. <3

Okay, so, you've gotten the fortune of meeting the b.itch first! I'm Silent, and I'm usually nice, but when it comes down to things, I like things when they're done right, and I'm a bit, umm, forceful when things aren't right. That said, on to the bio! :)

Okay, so, let's start with the history, shall we? Pretty good, though I think we could probably take out the sentence about her loving mother and still be fine. But one big thing is missing: AutumnClan! The four Clans were formed again no more than a moon or two ago, so up until about her apprenticeship, she was in AutumnClan. If you have any questions about AutumnClan, feel free to ask, or read other bios, or read old posts. ^-^

Shorten up the short description a bit. It's like in the allegiances from the book. You know, something like, "a pure white she-cat with brown paws and ears and green eyes." Short, sweet, and simple.

Okay, not feeling too good about the full description. Are you purposefully making her out to sound godlike? By the way, I don't appreciate wordiness for no apparent reason. Just tell us what she looks like without ramming a stick up her butt, y'know?

Lengthen personality, please. And give us her personality. All I got out of that was that she has Clan pride, she's a typical apprentice, and a typical medicine cat. What is there behind that, though?

The roleplay example is pretty good.

One extremely important thing, though. I don't think Runningsong has an apprentice, presently. But we cannot force one upon Moon if she does not want an apprentice, so please talk to Moon about whether or not she wants an apprentice. Mind, if she doesn't want to, there are still other Clans with open meddie cat apprentice spots. ^-^
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MADNESS couldn't change the fact that we fell apart;;
it could've been love, but we had a rough start

WC: Greystar, Runningtail
TC: Icepaw
RC: Thymeheart, Sugarfur
SC: Aspenpaw, Frogeyes
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